December 7^th starts out as a normal kind of day and we attend the 11:00 o’clock services as usual but it quickly turns into a weird day and it really upsets Mama and Daddy. I don’t understand what’s going on at first, but then it begins to be clear as I overhear things the adults are saying: the Japanese attacked a U.S. navy base in a place called Pearl Harbor and destroyed most of our ships. There was no warning so our navy wasn’t prepared for the attack.

I ask Daddy, “What’s wrong?” but he’s extra quiet and won’t tell me anything and just says, “Not worry.”

Later when Uncle George comes by the adults are still talking quietly and Mama still has that look on her face. She tells me “It’s okay. You needn’t worry your little head about it.”

That’s what she always says to me when she doesn’t want to explain something I ask her that she doesn’t want to talk about. I hate his because I know something is really wrong and it’s not ok.

The rest of the day is like that: the radio announcer talks about the attack and he repeats the report again and again and the adults talk quietly throughout the day into the evening.

No one tells me anything but they tell me not to worry. When they talk in whispers and tell me not to worry that tells me they’re talking secrets and that makes ne even more worried.

I listen to the radio and the announcer has that tone in his voice that says this is all pretty important. He talks about war with Japan and a lot about the sneak attack and how bad that was. He uses the word “Jap” a lot and I know that’s something bad that has to do with Japanese and my stomach tightens.

The next morning it’s more of the same. Mama and Daddy aren’t saying anything as if everything is all right and I get ready for school like I always do. But everything is different. I feel it even though no one talks about it.

After breakfast is on the table I ask Mama, “What does what happened yesterday mean?”

Mama doesn’t answer right away but her mouth tightens. Then she turns to me and says, “It’s very bad but it isn’t something we can do anything about. People are very angry because of what happened in Hawaii and things might get a little tense for a while.”

I don’t understand what that means. “What do you mean tense?”

“Well, some people may say hurtful things, and they may even try to hurt you. You’ll have to try to not let it bother you. You have to try not to worry about it.”

I’m confused and all kinds of feelings are jumping around inside me. “I don’t understand, Mama.”

“Yes, I know. It’s very hard but try to do as I say.”

After breakfast I leave the house and walk to the bus stop and wait but it doesn’t feel right and I don’t like that I don’t know what’s going on. Mama said the President declared war against Japan, but what does that mean?

As I climb on the bus Mrs. Davis the driver says, “Hi” to me like she always does but she isn’t her usual smiling and chatty self. That’s a sign right there that something is wrong. I pick a seat a few rows behind her as she pulls out and I’m not sure but I think everyone stops talking as I sit down. Usually everyone is talking and it’s loud but today it’s very quiet.

I don’t like this silence. It’s uncomfortable and feels like everyone is staring at me.

Someone behind me whispers and I clearly hear him whisper “Jap.”

I know all the kids on the bus but who whispered that?

I don’t turn around but look straight ahead as if I hadn’t heard.

I can hear a couple of the older boys and they’re talking about “the Japs this” and “the Japs that” and they aren’t trying to hide anything. Mrs. Davis calls them out for it in a loud voice I’ve never heard her use before. “Boys! That’s enough!” and her eyes in the mirror above her head are fierce and steady.

They don’t stop but speak in softer voices and whisper the same things loud enough that I can still hear every word they’re saying.

When I get off the bus at school Mrs. Davis says, “You have a good day,” and she smiles. Then, “Tell you what, I’ll walk you to class.”

Mama was right about one thing: What happened yesterday is bringing a lot of attention to me and I hate it!

My stomach hurts from the name-calling, and now I’m embarrassed that she’s walking me to class in front of the whole school. Did I do something wrong?

“Mrs. Davis, I can walk to my class by myself. You don’t need to go with me.”

“Oh, I know you can. But today is a going to be a difficult day and I want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”

“You don’t need to…” My voice trails off.

My stomach is getting worse and being escorted to my locker I feel everyone’s eyes on me as I cross the schoolyard. I don’t like the feeling. I wish it would all just go away!

When I first see my locker I’m shocked and start to tear up. Someone scribbled “Jap” and “Go back to Japland” across the door. Mrs. Davis puts her hand on my shoulder and says, “I want you to be strong now. We’ll go to the office and they’ll take care of this for you.”

I look around but most of the kids are just walking along and only a couple of kids are watching me. I don’t know if they are the ones who wrote on my locker, but to me they probably are. Now I’m feeling even worse and I don’t know why but I also feel ashamed. I didn’t have anything to do with Pearl Harbor but someone seems to think I did.

So why do I feel ashamed?

When I eventually get to my class Mrs. Colburn takes me aside and asks how Mama and Daddy are with all that’s going on.

“I think they’re really upset but they don’t tell me anything so I don’t really know.”

“Tell them I’m thinking of them,” she says. “And how about you? How are you doing?”

“I guess I’m okay.”

I don’t tell her I’m so angry and hurt and confused and near tears all the time.

“There are going to be some people who are going to say bad things about you and maybe even to you, and you have to be strong.” She looks me in the eye and her face is calm and she smiles reassuring me. “They’re being mean because that’s what they’ve been taught and they don’t know any better. You have friends and we’ll make sure no one mistreats you.”

Ummm, today is going to be a very long day.