I once said that I have always had a rich inner life, and by that I meant that I have spent much of my life in contemplation and preoccupation with my thoughts. To be clear, I am an introvert with strong ties to the realm of the mind and soul. Some who know me have questioned that I am an introvert because they experience me as socially skilled and very much out there.

Actually, my social skills are but one area where I have excelled in learning how extroverts function, and have modeled myself in that vein.

At a very young age I perceived the extreme chasm between how my teachers responded to extrovert students as opposed to introvert children in their classrooms. Extroverts were always chattering away, and when the teacher asked a question of the class, their hands immediately shot up. And when they answered a question, they spoke volumes, whether correct or not, and it didn’t matter. The response of the teacher was always positive and encouraging. After all, these were the students they went into teaching to teach. We introverts, on the other hand, rarely volunteered an answer, and the really good teachers did call upon us silent ones to involve us, but even they loved the outgoing kids more. It wasn’t through any evil or unseemly intent that teachers favored the extrovert kids, it was human nature.

Anyway, I observed this difference in response, and set out to get the teacher’s responses that the outgoing kids got, by imitating what I thought they did. I screwed up my limited courage and raised my hand, and prepared myself to answer any question by studying very hard. It was never easy, and when called upon the attention was mostly overwhelming, but I persisted. In time, I learned well the behaviors of the extroverts, and endured the exposure as tortuous but necessary training.

Today, I rest easily in and on the inward path, happily basking in the quietude I’ve become accustomed to, in the solitude that heals all wounds and enriches the soul’s journey. If you come across me and I seem distant or otherwise preoccupied, rest assured that I am indeed so focused, but feel free to get my attention, I will come out to play…